How are you? Oh boy, that’s a loaded question if I have ever heard one. This colloquial greeting has potentially life altering consequences when you actually take a moment to process, and then answer it honestly.
In attempt to make small talk with your co-workers at lunch, you might float that question out there. Most will respond with an unenthused and predictable “good.” Others would like to have you believe that they are “spectacular,” but are unconvincing. And still there is another group, my least favorite of the bunch, who will respond by telling you how absolutely horrible their life is, as if your own life was some kind of lavish wonderland.
Whatever the answer ends up being is really irrelevant. That’s because neither the questioner nor the respondent are interested in the honest to goodness truth. You don’t really want to know how someone is doing, in the same way you don’t really want to think about how you are yourself.
Whether you recognize it or not, you are both liars.
Like the individuals who cling to them, these lies come in all different shapes and sizes. Some are easily addressed, while others will never be paid a second thought. But, the first step towards rectifying a lie is to call bullshit on yourself.
Let’s take a look at some of the ways we lie to ourselves.
Since we talk an awful lot about working out around here, I thought this might be as good a place as any to start. And, speaking of starting, the New Year is right around the corner, which means many people will be looking to make a change in their exercise habits. This will be the year when you use that gym membership and actually run in those “running” shoes.
10 years in that great “first job” that was good enough to give you a foot in the door and opportunity to move up in the company has turned into the cubical of death, effectively draining the life from you each day. But, now you have a mortgage, car payment and kid on the way and can’t afford to – insert risky, but rewarding alternative here – start your own business, take a more impactful, but lower paying position, or approach your manager about a promotion, raise or recommendation.
You can’t afford to eat organic and don’t have time to prepare your meals at home. That burger doesn’t have that many calories, plus you are starting a juice cleanse next week. And, the brownies are gluten-free, which we all know is a synonym for healthy.
The people, who bully you for ordering a salad, haze you for not drinking and put you down for losing weight, and thus looking better than they do, are great friends. They are just kidding when they say “drunk you” is more fun. Plus, the cycle of arguing, saying terribly hurtful things, breaking-up and making-up with your significant other keeps an otherwise boring relationship interesting.
Leading a passion-driven life, in an attempt to maximize the number of meaningful, interesting and inspiring moments you experience is overrated. Who actually has the time to think about what really matters to them or what they truly hope to achieve in a lifetime anyway?
On a scale of one-to-five, one being true and five being false, these sob stories we tell ourselves are;
survey says…complete and total BULLSHIT!
So, back to our original question, how are you? Stop worrying about how everyone else is. First, take some time to figure out how you are by becoming responsible for your thoughts, feelings and actions—to be true to your goals, dreams and purpose. It’s only after you get your own mind and body in check that you will be able to affect change in others who tell you how they are.
And, the only way you can do that is by answering this question; what lies are you telling yourself?